Jesus Wants Us Free!
It hasn't always been easy for me to be open and honest. While I was living the addictive lifestyle, when I wouldn't open up to the counselor, I was living a lie, wearing a mask. I didn't ever want to be seen in the natural light of my addictions.
But some would have counseled me to stop going to church because it seemed hypocritical. But I had heard testimonies and read scriptures about people being delivered. And I knew that my addictions were so well rooted and deep seeded that if I would get free that it would take a miracle from God. So I kept going to church even while I was living the life style of a back slid reprobate.
A few years ago, I met a young black lady that was hung up the same way I was. When I looked at her I knew that was exactly how I had been twenty years earlier and prior to my deliverance. I had so much compassion for her. The night she got baptized I went and got the only ten dollars that I had to my name and I gave it to her. I knew she was still living the way I use to but I also knew how greatly God could use her just like He had used me. Even though I was not perfect HE used me to set someone free from a horrible addiction to crack cocaine.
I think that the reason He could use me in that area was because I never had a problem or stronghold with crack but because I knew all too well what addictions were and that Jesus wants us to have the freedom that HE paid for us to have. Also because I wasn't too proud to go around that person though that person would have never darkened the doors of a church at that particular time in their life.
There were other single mothers who were not Christians and doing the same things but they were (seemingly) getting away with it while I wasn't. God chastens those HE loves. The other single mother had her parents to help her and she had her siblings too. I had none of that but we were both addicted to the same things, men and partying.
It was so different for me then it was for everyone else because I knew that I knew God and that HE was real. But that was not enough to bring me out of decades of a lifestyle that was rooted in my ancestors. It was only by the grace of God that I was not destroyed more than I was by that lifestyle.
I am now digging my way out of the grave from the damages that the partying did along with lots of trauma to my body that could have been a result of that lifestyle too. I was run over by a car and almost killed by a motorcycle wreck right during the years that I was in partying the most.
Thank GOD I wasn't killed because both of those accidents were before I came to know the Lord and I would have gone to hell.
It was less than six months later after the motorcycle wreck where I almost lost my left eye and was almost killed that I got saved and baptized with the Holy Ghost Hallelujah for that!