When I came to Jesus in 1988 it was the beginning of opening up a big, deep, dark wound in my heart and soul that I had lived with since I was a toddler about age 3 yrs old.
I had gone through life pretending that life was perfectly okay so that my friends would never be able to sniff out my home life.
But at age 14 I got my first boyfriend. We saw each other daily. He quickly became just another limb or branch in my family tree.
He knew that home life was not all that It appeared to be. He and I had an understanding "don't ask and I won't tell" but he knew. He knew and understood me as if he were living my life too. And somehow, he made my home life much easier and nicer on me and on my parents.
You see I grew up with the air so thick you could cut it with a knife. It was only like that when my mom, dad and I were all in the same room together. Every since I was a toddler, my dad scorned me for being near to my mother and holding onto her dress tail. I had a hernia surgery at eighteen months old.
My mom showed me and all her friends the scar that I left in her arm as the doctors were cutting on me. It was awful! How a child could hurt that bad to leave that kind of a scar was unthinkable. But I had to have her near me after that.
I clung to her skirt tale constantly. I don't think the surgery was the only reason. My oldest sister may have been jealous of me too. You know how kids are they don't like it when another sibling gets the attention that they formerly received.
Anyway, Jesus healed me from all that emotional trauma when I first got saved. And HE healed me from all the trauma of the spousal abuse that was so bad I can't even talk about it. And Jesus is still healing me of mental scars just like HE is healing all my family. It is a continual process. Jesus heals!
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